Editorials - The first - Faucet Diplomacy must save the world

(With self proclaimed grand editor of The BSBPE, Srinath Krishnamurthy functioning as nothing more than a news scavenger, a fear has developed that the message, which we wish to spread may not reach the public. To address this issue, a new editorial page will also be published from this issue onwards.)

Over the last few months public consensus is slowly being formed that the greatest scientist/technologist ever to come out of India is the person who invented the hygiene faucet. The hygiene faucet, for those who aren't aware, is the thing that looks like a mini hand held shower, generally on the right side of the comode.

Sadly, foriegn governments not willing to accept India's progress in fields of shit and technology haven't yet advocated the installation of this technology and their countries are still dependent on the environmentally disastrous usage on toilet paper.

Even if the environmental damage due to this dependence on paper were not to be considered, there is another potentially catastrophic consequence of this move. Students from India who go to these countries to study find themselves using technology that is outdated and vile. Especially, people like our grand editor who suffer from chronic diarrhoea. These people invariably find their tissue wet and the slow poisoning slowly gets to their brain and they finally end up writing what they believe to be masterpieces of mokkai, but in reality are thinly disguised ways to take revenge for the trauma that they have to face, by destroying all sanity that is left on earth.

To prevent any further damage on human sanity as well as to encourage good humour and mokkai all governments the world over should forthright begin a campaign to install hygiene faucets.