Recap-BBPE Vol1 Issue1

Hello one and all,
I have decided that i will be reviving the long lost glory of the Bullshit Bugle that Bhargav and myself started a few years ago. Unfortunately the original Bugle was shut down due various reasons including financial constraints (couldn find paper), creative constraints, attitude constraints (basically couldn be bothered), etc. So i have decided to revive Bullshit Bugle Phoenix Edition a weekly newsletter on the bullshit and nonsense that seems to gravitate towards me! I havent asked Grand editor emeritus Bhargav Krishna his prior approval as i am sure he is a magnanimous soul who will always approve the spread of bullshit. For anyone who wants to unsubscribe from this free journal, please Spam Suhas's inbox with pleas until he personally comes and tells me to stop bugging the particular applicant with this esteemed journal. Its a vicious triangle of Spam. I spam your inbox with BBPE, you spam suhas's inbox with urgent pleas and he comes and talks to me! everyone is inconvenienced.
Now without further ado i will proceed to spread bullshit or as the saying goes, let the shit hit the fan.

I have successfully reached Singapore and though it was first thought that NUS didn actually want me here, what with the series of unfortunate events including my offer letter not arriving then the problem with my visa then the problem with my name, etc, i was suitably surprised that during registration they actually had my file ready to complete registration. So to all those who thought i couldn make it here SCREW YOU! yeah im talking to you naren, brat, naveen, ramesh, srini, ramya, omar, suhas,etc(could include the whole class i think)! i made it here!

Ok now about my experiences in Singapore. The really important experiences. I was unfortunate enough to 'run into' Suhas when i got here, and that is when my nightmare officially started. He was accompanied by two girls who we all know Akila and Lavanya, and another dude named Arun. Suhas with girls itself was a bit too much to digest but what they were doing was what horrified me. It chilled my body right down to my bones. The girls were actually laughing at a joke Suhas had made. Let me spell it out in CAPS so you get the actual idea! They were LAUGHING at SUHAS'S 'JOKES'! I knew then that my plane ride on Jet Airways was probably some sort of a worm hole into a parallel dimension where Suhas is funny! Now dont ever get me wrong. Suhas still is and will be as lame as he always was! But in this dimension people find him funny! The horror is too much to bear. If any of you guys are planning to get here please shed the thought. This place is evil! A moment of silence for the loss of two sensible minds Akila and Lavanya. Me and Omar are still holding out but i think Omar is also breaking down from being constantly exposed to my lame mokkais.

Right, things that you people need to knwo about Singapore and NUS. NUS is massive! Singapore is puny. Now onto the more important details. The point that really weirds me out. Whenver i go stand at a pedestrian crossing the cars actually stop to let me go. Now im thinking in Indian terms when the drivers always wanna kill the pedestrians. I knew this could be a trap, an ambush attack when i start walking the car runs me over so i cleverly wait for the car to pass. But the car doesnt budge! So i venture a small step onto the road and then just to surprise the evil driver i make a mad dash for the other side! Now Brat Naren Ramya Srini (and anyone who has seen me at the basket ball court or seen me at all!) will each give confident Recos that when i make a mad dash for anything it mostly is food and the dash is actually a quick sorta crawl! And most probably the element of surprise that i was hoping for was probably loud raucous laughter at the sight of a fat ball trying to run. So what im trying to say is, the drivers dont intend to kill you. coulda said that the first line itself but then again This is THE BULLSHIT BUGLE!

Right on that note of joy on low chances of being run over i bid adieu. Im sorry but more such mails will probably be sent to your unfortunate inboxes. Please do refer to the first para for methods to unsubscribe. All comments are to be directed to my mailbox. Please maintain general standards of decency and decorum when mailing me cos my feelings can be hurt very easily!

Sneak Preview of next edition: Srinath tries contacting profs!, Omar buys a laptop, Suhas gets a life and hangs himself under very suspicious circumstances! BBPE subscribers angry that this newsletter only publishes once a week, They want MORE!

Well thats all folks
BBPE Chief Editor-Srinath Krishnamurthy; Let the shit hit the fan!